The world is swirling, spinning fast on its axle
I knew this day would come and I knew I'd be ready for it
More ready for the pace
Capable to keep up with the speed
This would not have been possible before
In the cold, dark depression of transition
when the pain was so raw and real
I needed rest then
I needed space then
I needed healing
I needed to grieve
the losses, the experiences, the goodbyes, the trauma
I needed to lay in bed
I need a slower life
I needed healthy food
I needed a safe space
I did all of that
and I watched God put the pieces of me back together
but not as before
not at all like before.
He pieced me back together with a new worldview
My love for people, stronger than before
My love for myself, richer than I'd ever known
My worth and my value as a human child of God rather than a perfectionist who needs to earn her way to God, hustling to perform, striving for perfection to avoid pain, and trying to please people.
Openhearted, I slowly made my way into the world that was previously my home, America,
with all its wealth and abundance
The loving people around me cared for me and my story
they saw life and potential in me.
New green leaves sprouting from the burnt wasteland
Life. Hope. Beautiful things made from the dust, from the ashes.
As I entered into the world with a more open heart,
I interacted with people from a place of love rather than fear.
And for the first time in my life I lived out of a full cup rather than trying to pour out of an empty one.
Through my own healing process, I discovered who I really want to be and that I really like who I am
especially when I find stillness, peace, serenity, and enoughness.
So the pace of life is picking up.
It's exciting and new and fun and challenging.
And the challenge is to continue to get in touch with the soul, the inner voice.
To honor her and listen to her - God in me.
To stay true to her and not neglect her.
This is my spiritual practice.
This is my intention.
Keep listening to the Holy Spirit in me
Keep honoring what is there
Keep doing the work to stay vulnerable and honest and true
To choose those things over shame, perfectionism, hustling.
This is the path of life for me
This is the path to serenity
This is the way to wholehearted living.