Thirty

I decided quite a while ago I'm pretty stoked about turning 30 and here's a few reasons why:

1. By 30 I've done a lot of the work to know who I am (heck, if I've done some work, imagine how much work God has done on my behalf!)

2. No one tells you the 20's are going to be a bit of a crapshoot.

First existential crisis? In my 20s
First identity crisis? In my 20s
First time seeing a counselor on my own to work through this stuff? In my 20s
Realizing the dysfunction in my family and my role in that system? In my 20s
First professional job/adulting? In my 20s

3. By 30, I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin.

I have an idea of how my body works - how it responds to stress, what foods work best with it, the ideal weight for me, what sort of exercise it needs, and more than ever, how to listen to my body.
By now, I've lived in this temple for 30 years and I've started to realize how lucky I am to have this functioning body, this vessel that is capable of pretty incredible feats including the day to day simplicities.
I finally know I'm beautiful. I've stopped comparing myself so much to other people, to the unrealistic version of beauty in America, or to my thinner, younger self, and I really actually know that I'm beautiful inside and out.

4. By 30, I know more of who I am and who God created me to be

I'm a physical therapist, former missionary, daughter, sister, friend, writer, enthusiast of most things life.
Mostly I'm a child of this great big God we serve. I get to live and love and practice wholeness and be light and love wherever I go. The identities have been stripped and I just get to be and I've found that with a lot of work on the part of myself and others, I'm pretty happy with the result and I think He is too.

Turning 30, I never envisioned being in a season that I am in right now, a sabbatical season. I never envisioned living at a retreat center with some incredible friends and mentors living upstairs. I never pictured not having a stable and comfortable income or working less than 40 hours a week as a single woman. I never pictured living rurally and waking up to deer in the morning, hummingbirds in the evening and dealing with the less fun things like mice, snakes, and bees... oh and really bad internet.
After all, how could one actually be happy with the above life?

The truth is, I'm happier than I've been in a long time.
I've been practicing wholeness, practicing kindness to myself, and communing with a God I've come to know in such deeper ways due to life experiences and the opportunity to live in Haiti.
I have people who pour into me, pray for me, guide me, and do life with me.

None of this was on my radar, but I'm pretty happy with it. Thirty - let's see whatcha got.

Beautiful Things

Gungor

All this pain
I wonder if I'll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change, at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come out from this ground, at all?

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around,
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found, in you

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
Oh, you make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new,
You are making me new
You make me new,
You are making me new
(Making me new)

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
Oh, you make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new,
You are making me new
You make me new,
You are making me new

Songwriters: Brian Johnson / Christa Black / Jeremy Riddle

Beautiful Things lyrics © Bethel Music Publishing

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Photography and styling by: Jennifer Eliason

Make up and assistance: Avery Eliason