Liturgy for Fear


Is a liar

Fear creeps in whispering you are not enough

You should figure your life out now

You are wasting time

When will the other shoe drop?

Fear is oppressive

When it links arms with shame, together they aim to take you out

There are days when fear wins, when its voice is the loudest

On other, sunnier days, the winners are vulnerability,bravery, and presence.

Calm and meditation push back the anxiety.

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God's Economy

Living in another country has a way of exposing one to the depths of their soul - like extracting the heart out of the body and taking a close examination of arteries, veins, muscles, and chambers like our paradigms and belief systems.

This blog, originally published in August, 2017 during a season of burn out, is one of the many that express my changing paradigms and views of myself, God, and the world.

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A liturgy for the Fog

My mom recently gifted me an incredible book Every Moment Holy.

I didn’t grow up in a liturgical faith background and I am LOVING this book. It has been incredibly refreshing for my soul.

I was reading over my journal from the end of my time in Haiti through the first half of 2018, seeing themes of brokenness and pain and unknown and waiting and … transition. I felt inspired to do a little writing exercise with those common themes in the form of a liturgy…. and this is what came out of it! Hope it speaks to your soul and you can pass it on to someone in the season of unknown.

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The Onaville Community Health Center

In light of the 3 year anniversary of the Onaville Community Health Center this week, I thought a re-post from way back in January, 2016 might be appropriate. It’s crazy and foggy and magical and hard and miraculous and fun to think back on that time. That time when new things were being created, that time of envisioning and dreaming and doing. That time of total exhaustion. That time of passion and excitement.

There is a time and place and season for all things and this was a pretty amazing one!

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3 Years Ago

3 years ago I boarded a plane bound for Haiti with a few suitcases and a heart full of passion and excitement for the adventure of a lifetime.

I left America behind- my job, friends, family, the life I knew. 

I was so sure and nothing could stop me. 

I arrived in Haiti with all my American glory (sarcasm), my biases, my white fundamentalist evangelical Jesus. I showed up to Haiti with a heart truly wanting to serve and learn and no idea how to do so (I probably wouldn't have told you that at the time).

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Get out of the Car

I have a weird relationship with cars.

Cars feel safe to me. To me a car is a contained space, with door locks, temperature controls, whatever music I want to listen to, even a sunroof for a beautiful day.

Windows that roll up and down, the opportunity to interact with the outside world, but under my control, my push of the button, my choice.

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